I lost my blogging mojo. I’m not sure if it’s truly back but I do want to put some words out. It’s been way too long. I shall break it up into a few posts, starting with what happened in January.
In January something big happened. I have tried so many times to write about it but I couldn’t decide how – the long version or the short. But I’ve decided now that I’ll go with the short. The long is just too long.
My cousin F passed away suddenly. He had had a benign brain tumour since he was 13 – well before my mother got sick – but in the end what took his life was pneumonia. He was supposed to turn 25 in April. Cousin F is the son of my mother’s sister, Aunt Y, who stopped speaking to me in 2008, and coerced the others to do the same. I won’t go into too many details, but I will say two things:
One, is that my heart is not made of cobblestone as I previously thought; I grieved and I mourned in a way I didn’t think I would – not for the son of Aunt Y.
And two, this event effectively ended our 5-year silence. We are not chummy or anything, but at least now when we bump into each other – which we tend to because we live in the same apartment building – we smile and stop for a chat. It’s just unfortunate that it had to wait until cousin F passed away for this to happen.