It is Monday evening, and that means day 2 of Eid celebrations is over. Today was a public holiday and it is back to work tomorrow and THANK GOD for that. Firstly, I haven’t been in the mood to celebrate since 2004, understandably. Secondly, forced interaction with relatives you don’t like is particularly vexing and I am immensely glad it is over for now.

I want to talk about something that happened yesterday. My Aunt T is known for being a loose cannon. Actually I’m not sure if she’s like that with other people but she seems to be that way with me a lot. Maybe I did something once to infinitely annoy her, maybe it’s not me but it’s just her being a natural bitch. I don’t know. Either way, my interactions with her are guaranteed to leave a bitter aftertaste.

My handbag is pretty large. I like big bags and I cannot lie. I like to have a thousand things with me. I hardly need to ask people for anything because I’m likely to have everything I (and perhaps you) need. Just the other day I produced spare pancakes from my bag for my colleague, DS. He was thrilled. They weren’t exactly “spare” pancakes but I brought them and decided not to eat them in the end. He came in announcing how hungry he was and facetiously asked if I had any food. When I took out pancakes that were even soaked in maple syrup, he nearly died laughing. What I’m trying to say is, I carry large handbags because I like to carry a lot of things. That’s all.

Aunt T spied my bag and complimented it at first. Nice design, looks like the Birkin bag. Yes, indeed, I said. Then she commented on the large size. I said yes, I get to carry everything I please. When I realised that she wasn’t done and she started to open her mouth again, I braced myself for an insult. I knew it was coming. “You know, not everyone can pull off a bag this large. It depends on the size of the person carrying it. If I were to carry a bag this big, it would overwhelm me. On you, however, it looks great because it’s almost as big as you are.”

Aaaaaaand there it was.

I chuckled and shook my head. I wasn’t even angry. The truth is, I have nothing but sympathy for her. She has just come out of 29 days of fasting from dawn to dusk, days that included special nightly prayers performed only during Ramadan, recitation of the Holy Quran, almsgiving, and abstaining not only from food and drink but misdeeds as well. What constitutes as a misdeed in Islam? One of them is badmouthing. In fact, if you utter anything that causes hurt to others, it is enough to negate all of your good deeds. Islam teaches you that it is not enough to be good to God; you need to be good to people around you too. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said that if you have nothing nice to say, keep silent. I’m not claiming to be a perfect Muslim. I curse and swear, and I talk bad about others allllll the time. But frankly I would think twice, thrice and eventually not say something mean like that to someone to their face. I couldn’t even bring myself to say it because it is not kind. She covers her head with a hijab, prays five times a day, and generally walks around with the facade of a good Muslim – but the essence of Islam is lost on her. That is why I pity her. She’s got it all wrong and doesn’t even know it.

And just for the record, I’m not even fat. Sure I’m not petite like her, I don’t have size 4 feet like her, and unlike her, my thighs rub. But because I’m bigger than her, to her that’s a gross aberration and it requires, if not downright correction, a spiteful remark that clearly shows how she feels.

Some people are just – plain and simple – arseholes.


One thought on “Poison/wine

  1. Not the same situation, but just in general I dislike people who think they are better than other people based on the amount of space they take up on this earth. Gah. It irks me to no end.

    Tell your aunt to visit the USA if she really wants to see some big people – haha. We grow ’em big around here! My ass alone takes up the whole town. 😛

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