Oh my God, the weather today. I want to dip it in chocolate and swallow it whole. It’s so gorgeous out there. It’s sunny, nary a cloud in sight, and there’s the lovely addition of a nice, soft breeze. It seems like there should be butterflies, birdsong and…bluebells. Can bluebells grow in Southeast Asia? Highly doubt it. Just said it for alliteration. There are none of those things. But this? This is honestly good enough. I think I’d be happy to lay in the grass all this beautiful day…if only it weren’t full of dog shit and spittle. Fucking Singapore.
I…was watching a couple of videos earlier that were shot in Paris. La Tour Eiffel made an appearance, natch. And I found myself wishing I were in Paris today. I want to feel that way again, the way my heart felt with Paris around me. It smiled. It swelled. It threatened to jump out of my ribcage. It was a damn good feeling. I realise I have yet to write about my Europe trip and it’s been two (!) months since it happened. Would you believe I have yet to write a review for my most awesome Parisian Couchsurfing hosts either? I’m such a slacker.
By the way…did you know that the band Phoenix were French? I didn’t. I’ve been listening to a little Phoenix of late but never bothered to find out more about them. I happened to come across some videos of them singing on the streets of Paris and heard them speaking French and I was like, wha?? They’re from Versailles. I’ve downloaded their two most recent albums. I wish I had a dock so I could blast this stuff. Blasting music on my laptop has ruined the speakers.
Re: Letting someone else have what I want but can’t have right now is an honourable thing, right? I took it for myself in the end, essentially screwing two people over in the process. I spent a few days agonising over my decision, but I’ve since made peace with it. I’ve come to a conclusion that
a) I needed it more than she did
b) they needed me more than he needed me, and
c) they and I are a better fit than they and her could ever be.
(I have a feeling at least one of those pronouns is wrong.) End of. First week over – so much fun. A lot of cursing from the boys, quickly followed by apologies. I just giggle. Wait till they hear me curse. AM the boss called from London the other day and spoke to AB, and among other things, asked how I was doing. AB said, “She seems happy…” and he turned to me and asked, “Are you happy?” Without even a nanosecond’s hesitation, I answered, “Yes!” And AB grinned and said to AM, “She’s happy.”
I’m happy. And I hope to stay happy here for a few years. I think I will.