And so it is, just like you said it would be

There are no more ifs, ands or buts about it. Today, I am 26. Did I do anything special? No. Did I have cake? No. So there you go. It was just another day. It just happened to be the day I was born 26 years ago.

My 25th year was terrible. There was a lot more heartache and tears than I anticipated, some of which I’ve completely accepted and moved on from, some I’m still struggling to believe actually occurred. My 25th year was, simply put, a massive disappointment. All things considered, I realise I’ve got a lot to be thankful for, but I’m also only human. When things don’t go the way I hoped they would, the way they dared threaten to go, for fuck’s sake; when, after all is said and done, what I’m left with is confusion and question marks, well, it’s frustrating, and it’s hard not to let it get me down. And to be perfectly honest, there were times when I was really down. I just chose not to acknowledge it, publicly or otherwise.

I’m definitely working on looking at the big picture though. It’s coming along. Among things like being alive and healthy and having a job (yes, I have a job now and have had one for over a month), I’ve also bought my plane ticket to Paris for March. Yep, that’s actually happening, God-willing. So amid the doom and gloom, there’s still some light, there’s still some hope. I think that as long as I’ve got things to look forward to, I’m okay. I don’t feel like my existence is a total and utter failure. And so I guess if I’ve got a wish, it’s that may I never run out of things to look forward to, and may I always dare to hope.

Happy birthday to me.

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6 thoughts on “And so it is, just like you said it would be

  1. Paris? That’s so awesome! (I’m a little jealous. A friend of mine was telling me how much he loved France, just last night!)

    And, again, happy birthday! Turning 26 is kind of weird. Maybe 26 will treat both of us better than 25 did. Keep the optimism alive!

    How’s it going at the new job?

    1. A belated thank you for the birthday wish! Fingers crossed 26 will be better than 25. You’re right, we gotta remain optimistic.

      New job is okay. Better than old job. Haha. I am striving for a little more though. We’ll see.

      I am so excited about Paris! I’m already having “on the plane” dreams!

  2. “So amid the doom and gloom, there’s still some light, there’s still some hope. I think that as long as I’ve got things to look forward to, I’m okay.” — Yes!!! When I’m stressed or down, I also make sure I have somethings to look forward to.

    Happy birthday, S! I will continue to live vicariously through your travels and wonderful little creations (and live literally, when, say I take the initiative to bake something).

  3. Happy birthday, my dear. I’m sorry 25 was shitty. If it makes you feel better, 26 was waaaay better for me than 25 was, too. I think you will be pleased with 26 🙂 (I say this with all the wisdom that being 27 grants me).

    Paris? JEALOUSY FOREVER! Nah I’m really excited for you, that is so awesome. You have to take tons of pretty pictures and make French-inspired food for the blog!

    1. Thank you, wise 27-year-old Jenny. I hope my 26th year will be as awesome as yours was.

      That is such a cool idea, to make French-inspired food. I’m going to see what delicious things I can make. Thanks! 🙂

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